


slow dancing in the dark.

by wangeun



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, in which sokka realizes zuko and his girlfriend are more than just friends, inspired by joji's 'slow dancing in the dark', rewrite and expansion of an old story, takes place sometime before the end of the series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 21:31:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18507478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wangeun/pseuds/wangeun
Summary: sometimes sokka likes being right, but this is not one of those times.





	slow dancing in the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> warning: there really is no happy ending.

when he catches them, he isn't surprised.

it's unfortunate to say but sokka expected this. he's had his suspicions about the two of them. he's seen the way that she looks at him and the way that he looks at her when they both think that he's not watching. the smiles. the laughs. the out of place touches. to the others, suki and zuko probably just seem like good friends, bonded by war and tragedy like the rest of them - but sokka knows better. he knows suki better. he knows those smiles and those laughs and those touches. he used to be on the receiving end of them until  _he_  came along. now a voice in the back of his mind is taunting 'i told you so, i told you so', because sokka doesn't have anyone to actually say this to. he's never voiced his concerns to anybody, partly due to the fear of speaking them into existence, partly due to the fear of sounding absolutely ridiculous. weeks ago, he would've believed he was being ridiculous too, but now sokka is reminded just how important it is to go with one's gut feeling.

sometimes sokka likes being right, but this is not one of those times.

with a sigh, the warrior turns on his heels and makes his way back to camp. they don't know that he's seen them, and he isn't up for confronting anybody right now. the weight he feels within him makes him want to lie down in bed and possibly never wake up again. at least that way, he thinks, he won't have to face the reality that is his girlfriend cheating on him with the fire lord's son - someone he's considered a friend up until this point. just the thought of that seems absurd, but this is war, after all. there's nothing that isn't absurd about war. sokka should have known better than to trust anybody. he knows that this is entirely his own fault.

"i don't feel that great," he tells katara, climbing into his sleeping bag much too early. "i think i'm going to sleep it off."

* * *

when suki sits beside him the next day, he shimmies out of her touch.

they've hardly spoken all morning. in fact, sokka has hardly spoken to anyone, too afraid that his tongue might betray him like she has to trust opening his mouth. there's a lot he wishes he could say -  _typical_   _sokka_ , always talking too much - but he knows it's not the right time or place. nobody else needs to be dragged into this. foolishly, a part of him hopes that by not speaking this already real truth into existence, the whole thing might just turn out to be false and fade away. maybe he'd misunderstood what happened the previous evening. maybe zuko hadn't meant to put his hands on suki like that. maybe suki hadn't mean to moan like that either. maybe he was an idiot who didn't understand anything and was just letting his imagination run wild, led into battle by paranoia and insecurity.

or maybe he's just fucked up, like he always does.

"sokka," she says, confusion clouding her features. she reaches for him again, and he pulls away completely. "sokka."

"sorry," he replies, looking back at her. somehow, even when she's broken his heart, he can't find it in himself to hurt her back. he gives her a forced smile, trying to pretend that everything is okay, even though everyone can tell that he's not. he knows they've noticed his silence and his scowls and the shake of his voice. he rubs his neck and laughs, because he finds the situation truly hilarious, and gives her the first excuse he can think of. "sorry, i just... have to go to the bathroom. i'll be right back."

with a sigh, the warrior turns on his heels and makes his way out of the camp. they don't know that he's seen them, and he isn't up for confronting anybody right now. it's been less than twenty-four hours and he's barely been able to confront himself. he'll need more time, he knows he will, before he's ready to face the truth. for now, he'll have to exist in a false reality, much like the one he's unknowingly been existing in for... weeks, maybe? possibly longer? at this point, it's hard to tell. sokka spent much of the night over-analyzing every interaction suki and zuko have shared since the beginning. he doesn't know when those touches became more significant, but one touch is already too much and one time is already too long.

"what... just happened?" katara asks, glancing between suki and the retreating form of her brother. "are you two okay?"

"i don't know," suki says, exchanging a glance with zuko. his concerned expression burns her. "i thought we were."

aang swallows his fish and pipes up from beside katara. "did you guys have a fight or something?"

"no," is suki's answer. "no. i don't know what his problem is."

katara sighs, a worried expression crossing her features. she remembers how sokka had returned to camp uncharacteristically quiet and withdrawn the previous evening. she had probed him about it, asking whether he had something on his mind, but her brother had only shaken his head and given her a smirk. though he'd tried to convince her that nothing was the matter, he eventually admitted to feeling under the weather and announced that he would be sleeping early. katara had placed her palm against his forehead and cheeks and verified that he at least wasn't dying of a fever, but could not find out more about his mysterious illness. he just didn't  _feel good,_ he'd told her, that was all. katara realizes, belatedly, that there isn't only one possible diagnosis in this case. sokka might not have been ill at all, at least not physically.

"i'm worried about him," the healer admits, brows furrowed. "he's been acting weird since yesterday. i know something's wrong."

toph shrugs and continues eating, obviously expecting this whole thing to blow over. "sokka always acts weird, doesn't he?"

" _if_  there is something wrong with sokka," zuko suggests, interrupting. "i'm sure he'll tell us when he's ready, katara."

suki, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have anything else to say.

* * *

the next two days are a blur.

sokka can barely even remember what he had for breakfast, let alone how he's managed to spend the greater half of the past couple days entertaining himself. when he'd returned to camp the other day, expectant gazes upon him, he'd tried to act his usual lively self. he made sure he talked with his hands in an animated fashion, made sure to crack jokes that weren't funny (mostly because he didn't have it in him to actually try hard enough), and made sure to actually eat whatever meals were placed in front of him. katara would not stop looking at him like something was wrong with him, so he had to pretend like nothing was, even when he really didn't have an appetite at all. since then, he's been doing his best to keep up with the charade, but it's been difficult. toph had asked why he was being such a grumpy pants and sokka had nearly burst into tears at that very moment, saving face only by excusing himself to go pee - an excuse he'd been using so much lately that aang suggested maybe he had some sort of bladder infection.

suki and sokka haven't spoken since the other day. not really, anyway. not like they normally do.

"what's going on with you?" she's asked him, both in front of the group and in private. her question is always met with the same answer.

"nothing's wrong with me. i would appreciate it if you would stop asking."

suki, being the concerned girlfriend that she is,  _keeps_  asking until her gentle request of 'tell me' turns into her screaming. why won't he tell her anything? why is he giving her the cold shoulder? sokka never keeps things from her so why isn't he opening up to her now? sokka's gentle pleading also turns into screaming, but his train of thought derails and he ends up screaming at the entire camp rather than just at her. why won't they believe him when he says he's fine? why won't they stop asking about his bladder? why can't anybody just leave him alone?

when sokka inevitably storms off, muttering to himself about training, nobody stops him.

* * *

the next morning, sokka is the one who tries to apologize.

"i'm sorry," he says. "for yelling at you... i shouldn't have done that."

suki agrees. she shouldn't have done that either. the female warrior motions for him to sit down beside her and, when he doesn't, she frowns. sokka's silence and gaze are enough to tell her the offer's been rejected. not understanding why, suki asks. when she doesn't get a clear answer, she tries to explain her perspective to him. she tells him how it's been hard not knowing what's bothering him, mostly because she worries about him. because she loves him. she wants to know why he's been acting this way, like he wants nothing to do with her and nothing to do with the rest of the team. sokka explains that he's not entirely sure what's going on but that he needs time to figure it out before he can say anything to anyone, but especially to her. his thoughts are too jumbled up. he's still in the stage of denial.

frankly, he's hoping that she might say it first.

"i really don't like it when you're distant like this. i miss you. i miss talking to you. but..." there's a sigh. "i understand. if this is something that you feel that you need to work through on your own, then i'll let you work through it and i won't push you anymore. but please remember that we're all here for you and that we want to help you if we can. we can't help you if you keep avoiding us."

sokka promises not to avoid them anymore, but ends up spending the night away from them anyway, accompanied only by the moon.

* * *

at some point, zuko confronts him.

with a sigh, the warrior turns on his heels and tries to make his way out of the camp. they don't know that he's seen them, and he's not up for confronting anybody right now. zuko is the last person that he really wants to be speaking to, mostly because every time he sees zuko's lips, he's reminded of the way they'd littered kisses along suki's neck. during dinner, sokka had accidentally caught himself staring at the young firebender's face while he absently chewed on his rice. when their eyes had met, sokka had immediately looked away, wondering if suki ever got lost looking at him too.

"sokka," the prince says, gently grabbing the younger by the wrist. "wait."

"let me go," the water tribesman seethes, pulling his wrist from zuko's grasp. "don't touch me."

zuko only reaches for it again, this time holding on a little tighter. "then stop trying to get away from me and let me talk to you!"

sokka struggles to pull away this time and eventually resorts to giving the prince a harsh shove with his free hand, anger bubbling inside of him. when zuko doesn't immediately release him, he shoves him again. zuko looks a little perplexed but doesn't complain, letting sokka shove him repeatedly, still keeping a strong hold on his wrist. the younger of the two is currently throwing curses at him, glaring at him in a way he hasn't in a very long time, still trying to break free from the prince's grip, but zuko stands his ground. that is, until sokka tries to knee him in the groin.

"sokka!" the prince shouts, pushing the other back. "what the fuck is your problem?"

"my problem?  _my_  problem? you want to know what my problem is? what the fuck is  _your_  problem?!"

the prince actually has to hold his hands out to keep sokka from charging at him again, knowing full well what he intends to do with that knee. although the firebender isn't entirely sure what's gotten into his friend lately, he can't help but feel like it has something to do with him. he's noticed the way that sokka's been looking at him lately, and the way that sokka's gone out of his way to avoid speaking to him whenever possible. normally, sokka loved sparring with zuko and loved asking him for advice on how to better fight with a sword. sokka had not only stopped asking zuko to practice with him but had even outright rejected the offer when it was extended to him, claiming that he'd learned enough from zuko already and that he now preferred to spar on his own. when zuko pointed out that sparring with oneself wasn't nearly as productive as sparring with another, sokka had told him he didn't want anybody's help. he didn't want to fight with other people anymore.

clearly, sokka has changed his mind about that last part.

"i don't have a problem!" zuko replies, still trying to keep the warrior at arm's length, far enough away where he won't manage to hurt him but close enough that he won't be able to run off again like the last time he'd tried to have a civil conversation. "will you please calm down and stop trying to attack me? i'm just trying to talk!"

"i don't  _want_  to talk!" sokka cries, choosing to ignore the way that his voice cracks. "i don't need to calm down!"

after a moment, the prince reluctantly releases hold of the warrior, taking a step back just to keep a safe distance between them. sokka isn't much of a threat to zuko, but the firebender knows full well what the boy is capable of. in this case, zuko isn't that concerned about sokka doing anything too dangerous, but he still would rather be safe than sorry. anything to avoid another one of sokka's knees at the front of his pants. "you love talking. normally i can't get you to shut up. why don't you want to talk to me now?"

sokka offers zuko another deadly glare but doesn't bother moving from his spot, breathing hard. "because i don't."

"why not?" when his question is met with silence, he continues. "come on, sokka. tell me what's going on with you."

" _nothing_  is going on with me. how many times do i have to say that?"

zuko rolls his eyes, feeling frustrated. "don't be an idiot. you know nobody is buying that bullshit. you can't keep getting angry at us when we're just trying to look out for you. over these past few days, you've done nothing but try to avoid us. all of us!" although sokka opens his mouth to speak, zuko keeps going, determined to get his point across. "every time i've asked you if you want to spar with me, you've told me no. every time aang or toph has tried to play a game with you, you've shot them down. your sister tried to have a normal conversation with you earlier today and she didn't even harangue you about this stuff at all, yet you still gave her the same excuse you've been giving everyone whenever you want to get away from them. how long are you going to keep pretending that you have to use the bathroom all the time?!"

sokka's glare doesn't let up. "if you can tell that i don't want to talk to you guys, then why do you keep trying to make me?"

"because you're part of this team and we actually give a shit about you," zuko says.

"oh, really? is that true?"

zuko furrows his brows, a little surprised by the question. "it is. you don't even know how upset suki has been, worrying over you."

then just like that, something in the water tribesman snaps, like a twig cracking under the unbearable pressure of a broken heart. he jabs his finger into zuko's face, voice raising both in volume and pitch as he takes one step closer. "don't... don't you bring her into this! do  _not_  talk about her!" hearing suki's name spill out of the prince's mouth makes sokka feel like spilling something from his mouth too, an unsettling feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. he hates the thought that he's not the only one who's said her name with such purpose. for a moment, sokka imagines zuko moaning it out, suki's hand in his pants. zuko can do or say to him whatever he wants to, but sokka will never allow him to say her name ever again. "leave suki out of this!"

"i can't leave her out of this! she's your girlfriend, isn't she? don't you realize how much you're hurting her?"

 _don't you realize how much better you should be?_  zuko doesn't say it, but he doesn't have to. sokka knows it's what he means.

after a few lengthy moments of mutual staring, the warrior eventually backs down. sokka's face is soured in a scowl, but it's obviously directed more at himself now than at zuko. as much as sokka feels angry and hurt by his future former friend's actions, he knows everything is still his fault. it has to be. there's no way that it isn't. if he hasn't been man enough to make suki happy or keep her satisfied, then he can't blame her for turning to someone else. he can't blame her for turning to zuko, who has always been stronger than him and more skilled than him too. although it stings to imagine zuko's warm hands on suki's soft skin, sokka can't find it in him to hold a grudge. zuko may be in the wrong for seeing his girlfriend behind his back, but it's not his fault that he's managed to make her happier than he could ever dream to.

at once, sokka is filled with acceptance and resolve. if hurting suki is what he's doing, then he'll have no choice but to let her go. it's in everyone's best interest.

"i'm sorry," the non-bender says, although he doesn't need to. "i'll... talk to her."

* * *

that night, sokka pulls suki aside and decides to be brave, even though she can tell that he's shaking.

"i'm sorry if i've hurt you by keeping my distance from you," he starts. "i just... haven't really known what to say."

suki is looking at him expectantly, like she's waiting for him to say something she's been wanting to hear for a long time. truthfully, suki has no idea what's gotten into her boyfriend lately, but a small part of her has been worried that maybe she does. there's a strange weight in her, one that she's been carrying around with her for a while now, and she feels like her legs could buckle under it at any moment with the way that sokka's looking at her, eyes tired and sad. she can't help but feel guilty seeing him like this. she's never been so angry at herself in her life.

"it's okay, sokka. i already told you i understand."

"i'm honestly not sure if you do," sokka tells her, shaking his head. "i know that i've been treating you kind of terribly lately. i've been... kind of a jerk to you and to everyone else this week. i know i've been a really stubborn and difficult person and that i've probably hurt everyone's feelings by being like this. but..." he watches her for a moment, memorizing the way her lips curve and burning the image of her little mole into his permanent memory bank. "i've just had a lot on my mind lately and i haven't been able to sort through it. but i think i'm ready to talk about it now."

suki nods, sneaking a glance at the others circled around the fire. "sure. i would really like to talk about it."

sokka keeps staring at her for a moment, but then turns away, licking his lips. "i should have talked to you about this from the start, which is my bad, but i was so confused and so... afraid to." distractedly, the warrior fidgets with his fingers, a nervous habit he's picked up over time. he's not really sure how to have this conversation, but for the sake of everyone involved, he knows he has to have it. if he loves suki, then he's got to be man enough to prove that he does, even if that means setting her free. "i didn't even know how to process seeing you with him."

"what?"

"i saw you," he continues, sparing her another glance. "both of you. together."

the kyoshi warrior's mouth opens, but she's not really sure what to say. "sokka... i'm sorry."

the apology is quickly dismissed by sokka's hand, his head shaking once more. whether he believes that she's sorry or not, an apology isn't what he wants to hear. nothing that suki could ever say will ever make this situation better. this is just the way that things are, he thinks, so he wants to get this conversation over with as quickly as possible. he'd prefer not to hear another 'sorry' ever again.

"you should be with him."

suki feels like she wants to throw up. "sokka..."

"you should be with him," he repeats to her, defeat lacing his words. "i can't compete against him and i just want you to be happy."

"sokka, please," suki pleads, reaching out a hand that never manages to touch him. "this isn't about you not making me happy. i swear, this is isn't about you at all. i don't want you to feel like this is because of you or because you weren't good enough or anything like that. spirits, sokka, i swear to you! what happened between us was just a mistake."

the young water tribesman actually smiles at that, which catches the kyoshi warrior by surprise.

"you're right," he says, nodding in agreement. "what happened between us  _was_  a mistake."

* * *

the next day, suki announces that she's leaving. this is met by a chorus of protests by those sitting around the campsite, but sokka is still uncharacteristically silent and zuko does nothing but clench his jaw and fist. he knew this was coming, but he isn't prepared to deal with it.

"the kyoshi warriors need me. i think it's time for me to go back to where i belong. here, i'm only getting in the way."

"of course you're not getting in the way," katara rebuts, turning to her brother accusingly. "who told you that?"

suki is quick to defend the warrior sitting quietly by the fire. "nobody told me that. that's just the way it is. i didn't need anyone to say it." for a brief moment, suki's gaze flicks between her now ex-boyfriend and the prince, who doesn't dare look back at her. with a sad smile, suki regards the group watching her with looks of disappointment, tucking her hair back behind one of her ears. "i made this decision on my own, katara. i've been thinking for a while now about where my place is, and i've decided that as much as i love being with you all, this isn't it. i would be a lot happier if i returned to kyoshi island."

"aw... well, we understand that," aang says, offering a smile. "as long as you're happy."

"yeah," katara agrees, rising to her feet and setting down her bowl in the process. "as long as you're happy, suki, we'll support whatever you've decided. but i want you to know that we'll miss you a lot and that you're welcome to come join us again any time, if you ever change your mind. don't forget that."

suki nods and wraps her arms around katara, a friend she's become particularly close to over their many months of travel together. suki will miss her, almost as much as she'll miss the girl's brother, but suki knows secretly that she'll never be able to see them again. "thank you... i won't. i'll miss you all too, but i think this is for the best for now. hopefully our paths will cross again soon."

when suki's done making her rounds, everyone aside from zuko stares at sokka, waiting for him to say something. uncomfortable under the scrutiny of his team mates, sokka quickly explains that he and suki already said their goodbyes last night, in private. he wishes her a safe journey, then turns and begins to leave the camp before she can, mumbling something about having to use the bathroom.

* * *

"i'm sorry."

sokka doesn't even turn his head. he just keeps staring out into the horizon.

"i'm so sorry, sokka," the voice says again, desperate for some sort of reaction. "i... i really wasn't trying to hurt you."

"i know you weren't... and i really don't want to talk about it."

zuko sighs and runs a hand through his hair, not knowing what to do and wishing his uncle were around. he wasn't expecting forgiveness at all and that isn't what he wants in the first place. he doesn't need sokka to accept his apology or even believe it, because zuko knows that he's majorly fucked up and will likely never be able to make up for it. the prince has come to terms with that, knowing he leaves damage wherever he goes, and sokka's heart is, unfortunately, no exception to that. he hates himself for this, though. although sokka once had only been an irritant to the firebender, the warrior has become one of zuko's best and only friends. now that the dynamic is ruined for the both of them, the dynamic will likely be ruined for them all. zuko knows his actions - his  _and_  suki's actions - have ruined more than just a teenage romance.

"look... i'm not asking you to forgive me for what happened. there's no reason for you to forgive me for that. i won't forgive myself either. i just wanted you to know that i know i was wrong, and... that i'm just really, truly sorry." there's not much that can make things right at this point, zuko knows that. he'd forever regret letting his friendship with sokka die without at least saying  _something_  though. owning up to his terrible mistakes is something zuko's gotten really good at doing. "i know nothing i do or say will ever change anything, and if you'd prefer that i leave too, then i will. i just... i hope you know that i'll always cherish your friendship, sokka. even though i was a horrible friend to you from start to finish, i'll always be grateful for the time that i've spent with you. you're a really great person and an even greater warrior, and... i really never meant to come between you both."

"zuko..."

their eyes finally meet and, though sokka seems sad, he surprisingly doesn't seem angry.

"let's just finish what we're supposed to finish. what happens after that doesn't matter anymore. we have no choice but to keep moving forward."

"sokka?"

the water tribesman stands from his seat and dusts his hands off on the front of his tunic, stepping past the firebender without another glance.

"i'm sorry, but i have to excuse myself. i really need to use the bathroom."


End file.
